NOW WHAT???

Learning by exploring

PURSUING AN OLD DREAM
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When I was a high school sophomore, I spent a number of days seated in a chair, writing an episode for Stagecoach West, using a TV tray as my desk.  Why?  I had a huge crush on Richard Eyer.  I was the only one I knew of that did.  The Rifleman was all the rage, and Johnny ? was the "ONE" for most of my friends.  Not me.  I went for his Dad, actor Chuck Conners!  How old was I?

In college, I took a Creative Writing course as an English major.  One of the assignments was to write a major paper on a well-known poet and an analysis of some of his poems, or to write a booklet of our own poetry.  Hands-down for me, the easy thing was to write my own poetry.  I was just being lazy.  I HATE to analyze poetry!  Turns out I received an A on my work, and my professor asked me for permission to select some of the poems to be printed in the college newspaper.  I was pretty stunned by both, the grade and the request!  In my mind, I had taken the really lazy choice re: the assignment.

I was one who said, "I've always wanted to write but....."  Excuse after excuse!  In other words. I never took myself seriously.  Until now.  I'm sixty-three.  I was a stay-at- home Mom for 16 years, and a Spanish teacher for 18 years.  Spanish was my second major; I found out early that I did NOT like teaching English.

A friend I met right here on LiveJournal found out "my dream" was being re-ignited, this time for real.  I really did want to write, no excuses.  But where to start?  I wanted to write novels, not poetry.  She has written a lot and is sort of mentoring me.  With her first steps to follow and her encouragement, I've started two novels, a blog on blogspot.com (marnisblogs.blogspot.com), and I'm reading books on writing.  I have one writing buddy for sure, and the possibility of another.  The blog is for one purpose only, to stay accountable and not give up or get lazy.  I want to be a published author, even if it's posthumously.  =)

Are you young with a dream?  Are you older like me, saying, "would-a, could-a, should-a"?  I HOPE YOU'LL START TODAY ON PURSUING YOUR DREAM, FULL-THROTTLE! 


Anyone Remember Mae West?
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I was visiting one of my favorite websites, ThinkExist, and came across a couple of Mae West quotations.  They're light and funny so I thought I'd share them.  You have to know something about Mae West, tho', to appreciate them.  She was a blond bombshell during the 50s and known for her "overt" humor and behavior.  She was sort of a
Hollywood star.  Her daughter is the lead female detective on Law and Order: SVU. Maritza Hargitay.  (I think that's how you spell it).

"So many men, so little time!"

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."


"Oh, Self, Give Me a Break!" The tyranny of parental self-talk
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I have just spent probably an hour doing something so satisfying to me.  I visited ThinkExist.com, and I added a bunch of new quotes to my Book chapters.  I really want to post one on FB everyday.  They're mostly short and pithy.  I think people would enjoy them.  So far, my chapters are "The Good and Bad About Time", "Who Am I and Who Are You?", "Fun and Humor", "What Makes "a friend" a Friend?"  , "Life"  ( I want to rename this one, it's too generic).  I think that's all of them for now.

Oh, geez, I haven't done anything I "should" be doing.  I hate the word "should".  It's such a guilt-producer.  It's self-parenting and usually makes me feel really pushed and stressed.  "I should be on time", "I should clean the bathrooms", "I should study", and a hundred thousand more.  UGH!!!  

Another one is "must".  Oh my gosh!!!  "Where's the FREEDOM, Self?  Give me a break!" Then, of course, as if I didn't do a good enough job parenting myself, there are plenty around who'll give it try.  "You know you should go to bed earlier" or  "You must be on time!" or "You must share your toys " ("have to" means "must"), etc.
 
I run late on a highly consistent basis.  It's really the one thing I do consistently, almost faithfully.  Is it because I try to cram too many things into the last minutes before leaving?  Or is it just sheer rebellion against being pushed.  Really, time management is a bear for me.  I've bought books and workbooks and  books on the psychology of time management, or lack thereof,  but I'm still late, and I still procrastinate.  A lot of time, it's suggested that procrastination is a symptom of being afraid of failure so I put things off.

In my own opinion, at least about myself, I think THESE are the contributing factors:  I am random by nature and never know where my keys and phone are as I try to head out the door; I am also rebellious by nature against being pushed by time (that is someone ELSE'S schedule) even though I always managed to get my college assignments in on time, and my lesson plans, too ( I do bow to enough pressure).  Ok.  I'm done.  OOPS!! I'M LATE! Bill IS DUE HOME ANY MINUTE AND I "SHOULD" BE DRESSED BY NOW!  He "MUST" think I've been productive.  Well, as usual, I'm "too late" to get dressed and look productive.  THANK GOD HE LOVES ME AND, EVEN THO' HE PARENTS ME BEAUTIFULLY, HE ALSO CUTS ME LOTS OF SLACK.  BLESS HIM!!!  I love that man!!

I'll be glad when I have someone else to analyze on here!!!!

DOES ANYONE AT ALL HAVE THIS SAME TESTIMONY OR PROBLEM?  WOULD LOVE TO KNOW I'M NOT ALONE!!!!


I Dived Right In
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Last night, it was really, really late when I decided to tackle LiveJournal.  I think I chose my journal theme.  I made my first entry in my journal. I more or less set up my profile but forgot to save the info.  Typical.  Anyway, I was confused a lot.  I've never done anything like this before.

Today I more or less started over.  I did my profile.  I visited a community. I left a comment in someone's journal. I feel good; I made PROGRESS!!!

NOW WHAT?


What Do I Think I'm Doing?
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I've spent probably an hour and a half on this site, and it is nothing like I thought it would be.  I expected a regular journal that I would make "whatever" entries in, and that others could journal or comment as well. I guess I thought this would be like an interactive journal.  Is it?  I have no idea yet.  If it is, how does it work?  It's late, I'm tired of thinking, and I'm just going to veg awhile before I go to bed.  Maybe I can get further into this tomorrow.

?

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